Be A Cancer Survivor (Part 1)

Today I found out I have cancer.

Since I was 18 years old, cancer has taken over my life.

At 18, I worked for a cancer research firm for over two years before beginning an internship on a cancer ward.

After graduating college in 2004 with a Bachelors in Nursing, I moved to Los Angeles to work for one of the top Children's Hospitals in the nation on a cancer unit. My life list started there after taking care of an incredible girl named Patty who died of leukemia. I'm obviously now back in San Diego, but have continued to dedicate my life to taking care of children fighting cancer.  In 2009, I even became a stem cell donor for a stranger with cancer.  Then last year it hit me on a more personal level, when my grandmother was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer after never having smoked a day in her entire life.

So when I say cancer has changed my life, that might be the understatement of the year.

Then in the end of June I started developing a small pimple like growth at the tip of my nose. 

Can you see it?  Probably not, because it was one of those things only I noticed.  I broke out with another pimple on my chin, and thought maybe I was just having one of my yearly acne breakouts.  The pimple on my chin came and went, but the "pimple" on my nose just got bigger.  So I searched for every crazy ointment and old wives tale that could possibly decrease the pimple.  Nothing helped.

By August I was starting to worry.   I became so self conscious about it that I started avoiding cameras, and began using photo editing to cover it up in photos.  I did have a video from my trip to Oregon that I was able to take a screen shot from (for the record, I was singing to 'Call me Maybe').  This is not an adequate representation of how disgusting it looked.  This is with makeup covering it up.  It was red, inflamed, scaly, and bled easily.

I finally saw my primary doctor during the last week of August.  She took one look at the "growth" (no longer could I call it a pimple), and a wave of fear came over her face.  I had fought to see a dermatologist from the beginning, but I had to go through my primary doctor to get a referral. She told me she thought it might be cancer.  She said she would refer me to an ENT (Ears, Nose, Throat) doctor.  The next available appointment was in November, but she was worried so she got me in to see someone the following Tuesday.

The day before my appointment I received a call that they had to cancel my Tuesday appointment.  My appointment was with a Physicians Assistant, and they thought it would be more beneficial for me to see an ENT Surgeon.  They told me the next available appointment was the first week of October (the same week I would be in Pennsylvania for a work conference).  The next available appointment after that would be in November.  Umm Excuse Me?

I am such an advocate for my patients, so being an advocate for myself almost came naturally.

"You tell me I might have cancer, and you are making me wait till October?  This is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE. I don't understand why the Physician's Assistant can't do the biopsy on Tuesday so we at least know what we are dealing with.  I am an ONCOLOGY NURSE so I know how long biopsy results can take!  I do not want to wait a month knowing I *might* have cancer. U-N-A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E!!!!"

It worked cause I got an appointment on Thursday to see a dermatologist who is known for his biopsy skills.  Wow...I could have sworn I was begging for a dermatology consult weeks ago.

The day of my biopsy, the dermatologist said it was either cancer or a pyogenic granuloma (non-malignant).  The only way we could absolutely know is by doing the biopsy.  They numbed me up with lidocaine, sliced off the visible growth, and then ended it with cauterizing the wound.  FYI, the smell of burning flesh is one of the worst smells in the world. Correction:  The smell of burning flesh right by your nose is one of the worst smells in the world.

One week post biopsy I am makeup-less, and sporting a sweet little scab. It's my new battle scar.

Also one week post biopsy, I received a call from my doctor telling me the biopsy results were in and I have squamous cell carcinoma.

The Risk Factors of Squamous Cell Carcinoma....

• Light Colored Skin, Blue or Green Eyes, Blond or Red Hair - NOPE
• Long-Term, Daily Sun Exposure- NOPE (I work indoors for 12 hours at a time)
• Many Severe Sunburns Early in Life- NOPE (my parents never took us to the beach)
• Older Age- NOPE
• Having had many X-Ray's- NOPE (I have had less than 5 X-rays all in places below my head)

Just goes to show that anyone can get skin cancer!

Just hours before my biopsy results came in I was crying and hugging my grandma, and saying my goodbyes as she nears the end of her cancer battle.

One person just starting their cancer journey, while the other is ending theirs.

Cancer...I am ready for you.....

P.S.  It won't take a toy gun to beat this.  My cancer battle will likely not involve chemo (so I get to keep my hair which I have been growing out to donate).  At the very most it will involve skin cancer surgery, skin grafts (depending on how much of my nose they have to remove), plastic surgery, laser surgery and/or dermabrasion.  Check out this woman's skin cancer story (with pictures).

P.S.S.  As a nurse, I feel like it's my duty to make a plea to take extra precautions to prevent yourself from getting skin cancer.  I had none of the risk factors and still got it, so if you find yourself in the higher risk category make sure to take additional preventative measures. We are not invincible. 

Date Accomplished:  In Progress.....