Be A Cancer Survivor (Part 2)

If you haven't already, read the first part of Be A Cancer Survivor.

It has been a few months now since I was diagnosed with cancer.

After my skin biopsy my nose looked like this...

Unfortunately, a week after my skin biopsy the scab fell off and a new lesion started to grow.  The cancer was growing rapidly right before my eyes.  I was terrified.

I was told by my doctor's office that the type of cancer I had was "slow growing."  It's not slow growing when it starts growing faster than weeds! 

I was depressed.  I felt broken.  I wanted to tell God that I wanted a refund or a do-over.

On September 21st, I met with my surgeon for the first time.  I think he was expecting an old, blonde and blue eyed woman.  He took one look at me SHOCKED and said, "This is not good.  I need to get you into surgery as soon as possible.  You are too young to have to deal with this."  He told me that squamous cell carcinoma is typically slow growing, but mine obviously did not fit hat characteristic.  Not only did I have zero risk factors, but I also had an atypical form of the cancer.  FANTASTIC.  :/

The surgeon was able to squeeze me in a few days later on September 26th.  My type of cancer has a tendency to spread to neighboring lymph nodes, so the quicker the scheduling process the better! Remember when they initially couldn't even get me in for a BIOPSY until November?  I don't even want to know how ginormous the cancer would have been if I waited that long!  That is just another reason why it is SO IMPORTANT to educate and advocate for yourself!

On surgery day, I entered a room and sat in a chair similar to the ones at a dentist.  My surgeon was constantly shaking his head unhappy that I had to deal with cancer.  "You're too young!  I hate this!"  I told him I care for kids with cancer, so in perspective I'm an old geezer in comparison.

We went back and forth about the best way to handle the surgery.  Should we be on the conservative side to avoid major scarring, or do we go all balls out and do the skin graft (that could take years to even look normal again)?

I began feeling overwhelmed and started to cry.  I don't like to cry in front of people.  I'm the happy-happy-joy-joy type of girl, the independent girl that won't even let a guy carry her suitcase, and a total class clown, so it takes a lot to make me cry.

He told me he didn't want to pressure me into anything, but that he had a daughter around my age and if she were in my situation he would do the conservative approach.  Because of his words, and him treating me somewhat like his "daughter," I decided on the conservative approach.

"I hope I didn't pressure you into something you didn't want."

I told him, "This is my decision.  I signed the consent form, not you."

We discussed that if the cancer were to come back that we would do the more aggressive approach plus radiation.

He scrubbed my face with betadine, and then numbed me up with lidocaine.  The lidocaine hurt 10x more this time around since he had to numb a larger area.

If you get queasy at the sight of blood please scroll down really fast....

starting.....




now......

Ahhhh!  Not my best photo. 

Excuse me for not smiling, half my face was numb, and a chunk of cancer was just cut away from me.

He then cauterized the wound to smooth the wound bed so that the healthy tissue grew evenly, and to also kill any remaining cancer cells that may be lingering around.  Die! Die! Die!

For almost two weeks I had to walk around with a bandage on my face....

Me at a cancer work conference in Pittsburgh sporting my band aid

It became a great conversation topic...

Person:  "Hey what happened to your nose?"

Me:  "Oh I got into a huge fight with an asshole named Cancer. It might not look like it right now, but I think I won."

Since then the scab has fallen off, and their is a slight indentation in my nose, along with a tiny hint of pink that I can easily cover with makeup.

This is me one month post surgery. 

On October 23rd (my birthday), I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon.  He told me that the pathology results were back, and I was officially cancer free!  He was as excited as I was with the news.  We both agreed that we made the right choice going the conservative route.

I told him that he just gave me the best birthday present ever!  He made me a cancer survivor! *tear*

This experience was just another reality check for me that the human body is not invincible.  Even though I take care of cancer patients for a living, and have seen many lives cut short due to cancer, it is completely different when you are the one personally carrying the cancer torch.

I have made some significant health changes in my life since my diagnosis.  I now religiously apply moisturizer with sunscreen (even if I am not going out in the sun), I have joined a gym, I've  incorporated more fruits and veggies into my diet, and I have shared my story with several other people my age to increase awareness.

Date Accomplished (I hope, forever!):  October 23rd, 2012

Be A Cancer Survivor (Part 1)

Today I found out I have cancer.

Since I was 18 years old, cancer has taken over my life.

At 18, I worked for a cancer research firm for over two years before beginning an internship on a cancer ward.

After graduating college in 2004 with a Bachelors in Nursing, I moved to Los Angeles to work for one of the top Children's Hospitals in the nation on a cancer unit. My life list started there after taking care of an incredible girl named Patty who died of leukemia. I'm obviously now back in San Diego, but have continued to dedicate my life to taking care of children fighting cancer.  In 2009, I even became a stem cell donor for a stranger with cancer.  Then last year it hit me on a more personal level, when my grandmother was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer after never having smoked a day in her entire life.

So when I say cancer has changed my life, that might be the understatement of the year.

Then in the end of June I started developing a small pimple like growth at the tip of my nose. 

Can you see it?  Probably not, because it was one of those things only I noticed.  I broke out with another pimple on my chin, and thought maybe I was just having one of my yearly acne breakouts.  The pimple on my chin came and went, but the "pimple" on my nose just got bigger.  So I searched for every crazy ointment and old wives tale that could possibly decrease the pimple.  Nothing helped.

By August I was starting to worry.   I became so self conscious about it that I started avoiding cameras, and began using photo editing to cover it up in photos.  I did have a video from my trip to Oregon that I was able to take a screen shot from (for the record, I was singing to 'Call me Maybe').  This is not an adequate representation of how disgusting it looked.  This is with makeup covering it up.  It was red, inflamed, scaly, and bled easily.

I finally saw my primary doctor during the last week of August.  She took one look at the "growth" (no longer could I call it a pimple), and a wave of fear came over her face.  I had fought to see a dermatologist from the beginning, but I had to go through my primary doctor to get a referral. She told me she thought it might be cancer.  She said she would refer me to an ENT (Ears, Nose, Throat) doctor.  The next available appointment was in November, but she was worried so she got me in to see someone the following Tuesday.

The day before my appointment I received a call that they had to cancel my Tuesday appointment.  My appointment was with a Physicians Assistant, and they thought it would be more beneficial for me to see an ENT Surgeon.  They told me the next available appointment was the first week of October (the same week I would be in Pennsylvania for a work conference).  The next available appointment after that would be in November.  Umm Excuse Me?

I am such an advocate for my patients, so being an advocate for myself almost came naturally.

"You tell me I might have cancer, and you are making me wait till October?  This is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE. I don't understand why the Physician's Assistant can't do the biopsy on Tuesday so we at least know what we are dealing with.  I am an ONCOLOGY NURSE so I know how long biopsy results can take!  I do not want to wait a month knowing I *might* have cancer. U-N-A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E!!!!"

It worked cause I got an appointment on Thursday to see a dermatologist who is known for his biopsy skills.  Wow...I could have sworn I was begging for a dermatology consult weeks ago.

The day of my biopsy, the dermatologist said it was either cancer or a pyogenic granuloma (non-malignant).  The only way we could absolutely know is by doing the biopsy.  They numbed me up with lidocaine, sliced off the visible growth, and then ended it with cauterizing the wound.  FYI, the smell of burning flesh is one of the worst smells in the world. Correction:  The smell of burning flesh right by your nose is one of the worst smells in the world.

One week post biopsy I am makeup-less, and sporting a sweet little scab. It's my new battle scar.

Also one week post biopsy, I received a call from my doctor telling me the biopsy results were in and I have squamous cell carcinoma.

The Risk Factors of Squamous Cell Carcinoma....

• Light Colored Skin, Blue or Green Eyes, Blond or Red Hair - NOPE
• Long-Term, Daily Sun Exposure- NOPE (I work indoors for 12 hours at a time)
• Many Severe Sunburns Early in Life- NOPE (my parents never took us to the beach)
• Older Age- NOPE
• Having had many X-Ray's- NOPE (I have had less than 5 X-rays all in places below my head)

Just goes to show that anyone can get skin cancer!

Just hours before my biopsy results came in I was crying and hugging my grandma, and saying my goodbyes as she nears the end of her cancer battle.

One person just starting their cancer journey, while the other is ending theirs.

Cancer...I am ready for you.....

P.S.  It won't take a toy gun to beat this.  My cancer battle will likely not involve chemo (so I get to keep my hair which I have been growing out to donate).  At the very most it will involve skin cancer surgery, skin grafts (depending on how much of my nose they have to remove), plastic surgery, laser surgery and/or dermabrasion.  Check out this woman's skin cancer story (with pictures).

P.S.S.  As a nurse, I feel like it's my duty to make a plea to take extra precautions to prevent yourself from getting skin cancer.  I had none of the risk factors and still got it, so if you find yourself in the higher risk category make sure to take additional preventative measures. We are not invincible. 

Date Accomplished:  In Progress.....